Reflecting on a Year

Happy Holidays to my clients and each of you lovely people who read my blog. My writing has slowed down a lot this past year as life brought in the unexpected, as it often does for each and all of us. 2016 has been an extra beautiful and extra challenging year. 

My husband John and I went through a short separation at the end of 2015 and 2016 brought us back together again. The profound grief that comes with losing a child most often challenges partnerships as each person, each parent, in the relationship, is affected by grief in their own unique way. Often the two grieving parents move in very different directions and over time find themselves far away from one another, as John and I did.

It was in becoming aware of how far apart our grief had brought us, and allowing the distance between us to be, which for us meant separating for a little while, that through our new clearer perspectives, we began to move towards one another. Truly a child’s death is like having a bomb dropped on top of what was.

John and I rebuilt our life together this past year. The timing of our rebuilding turned out to be very important in our parenting of Kevin’s little one, Mason. In May Mason began experiencing leg pain and soon after, severe back pain. After visits with the pediatrician with nothing found and his pain growing more severe, we ended up in the Emergency room in July. Blood tests taken at the ER showed a marked change from the tests taken at the pediatrician visits a couple weeks before. After a CT scan, bone scans, MRI, full body x-rays and many blood tests, he was diagnosed with Histiocytosis in her skeletal system, a very rare disease that is in the cancer family. 

With Histiocytosis, immature white blood cells, go rogue and turn on the cells of the body. In Mason's case, the histiocytes made lesions in four bones causing severe pain.  In his vertebrae the lesion was so severe it broke and collapsed the bone. He spent this summer healing a broken back. What a brave kid!

The treatment for Histiocytosis is chemotherapy.  For the past five months we have been on a journey of “strategic waiting” to see what the disease would do and were preparing to start chemo. Right now after recent testing, another bone scan, full body xray and blood tests, we are in a very hopeful place!  Histiocytosis has not created any new lesions that can be seen and the old lesions are either healed or healing. Mason's body, right now, is winning the fight!

This journey with John and Mason has brought my work into clear focus. I took a short leave of absence from readings this fall as I learned how to keep centered, grounded and connected through our new circumstances. I know with more certainty than ever that our spiritual journey is our very human physical journey, through every moment and all that is. It is in letting go to what is, being in the now of it, allowing the Divine to guide us, that we can make it peacefully through what this mysterious and amazing life brings. I love being Mason's Yaya, his Grandma Mom.  I often help at his school and we have created a schedule at home that gives our family more time together.

I am working now out of my new office on Warm Springs Ave, giving readings for spiritual connection with loved ones, for guidance through life's challenges and along the spiritual growth journey.

As this year closes and a new year begins, the cycle of life continues on with all of its beauty and all of its struggle, I am grateful to be a part of it, to have my health, my family, my friends and for all the amazing people who are a part of our life as we raise Mason. If you are reading this, thank you, I am grateful that you continue to follow my work and my life, through the many changes of these past few years. I hope if you feel inspired you might leave a reply and let me know how you are.

In early January I go back to school (a dream come true) working towards my Master’s Degree in Transpersonal Psychology with an emphasis in Consciousness, at Atlantic University, a Distance Learning University started in the early 1900’s by the great Psychic Healer, Edgar Caycee.  I am excited to learn more about our ability to connect and work with energy and about the capability of the human mind and psyche. I want to understand as much as I can about the spiritual experiences I have lived since my son Kevin’s passing and his after death visit that followed and about how our spiritual connections can bless our lives and help us heal and grow even through the most difficult of challenges…as individuals, in our relationships and as a community of living beings sharing the Earth.

If you are reading this I’d like to give you a special holiday gift of a BIG discount on your next reading, scheduled between now and the first of the year.  The usual cost of a reading is $225 for first time clients and $175.00 for those already my client.  If you schedule your reading between now and the first of the year, your cost is just $112.50.  If you have been considering giving yourself the gift of a five reading Transformational Series, and you schedule before the first of the year, I will take $150 off the total cost of the series. Mention this blog post when you call to schedule.

It is in this closing of the year and beginning of another and this time of celebration when we can feel the absence of those we have lost the most acutely. In the Spring of this year we lost John's Dad, Nicholas Kuhn, to a rare disease that took him quickly. He was with us here in Boise for Christmas last year. We are missing him. May we all feel the energetic presence of the Spirits we love who have made the journey to Heaven before us and let their love and energy comfort us.

We will have both our son Mitchel and our daughter Madilyn with us for Christmas. The day after Thanksgiving we adopted two older kittens who are Mason's buddies and filling our home with a lot of fun. I am feeling very grateful as this year closes. I wish you and yours warm and beautiful holiday moments and a New Year filled with peace and well being.

Much love,


Update:  In March Mason had a flare up of a bone lesion on his collar bone. He had a biopsy, the results of which changed his diagnosis from Histiocytosis to CRMO (Chronic Recurrent Multi-focal Osteomyelitis). It is an auto-inflammatory disease which attacks the bones. It is rare, effecting approximately one in a million. Mason goes through infusions of medicine each month to strengthen his bones and lessen the damage of the disease. We travel to a children's specialty center to have full body MRI's that help us know the status of his bone lesions. We are thankful for good doctors. So far the medicine is helping and he's doing well.

Kerry Ryan